In Defense of Picky Eaters……

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For all of you with adventuresome tastes, you do have a wide culinary world to enjoy – or at least explore. As more people stay at home (providing they can also get groceries), many appear to be trying new dishes and recipes. Several of my friends consider me to be a picky eater, although that can be a relative term. I grew up in a “standard” small, Southern town in the time of traditional fare, but indeed did not eat cooked greens nor yellow squash. A wide range of seasonings were not available, although for those who never had vegetables cooked with bacon grease, you are missing a treat. There were no Chinese, Italian, etc; restaurants, and when a pizza place did finally open, we of course didn’t cross the threshold since they also sold beer. (That was one of numerous Baptist prohibitions I violated in my college years).

Anyway, my culinary experience did greatly expand as I left home for both foreign countries and other states. I do admit, I hadn’t the faintest notion of what a frappe was the first time I visited Maine and unless one is vegetarian, how can one not appreciate a Philly cheese steak? My point is, I do have a long list of “common” items I don’t eat, possible led off by eggs, bananas, and mushrooms. I am occasionally trapped into eating quiche due to social politeness, and yes, I apparently ate both eggs and bananas as a small child until somewhere along the way, I was able to express my dislike. (Mushrooms were not part of our diet so I was spared that.) Hubby, on the other hand, loves them and for a while was convinced if I just tried a different type/way of preparation, I would change my mind. He has given up and simply enjoys eating my share. I’m okay with the flavor; not the texture, so we cook with them all the time and I pass mine to him.

My point is, as long as we picky eaters achieve balanced nutrition, (which most of us do) don’t worry about us.

“They Really Lived?”……

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Thank you Brian Dennehy for great movies and television shows. This post is not about him, but a couple of his contemporaries and a quirky, delightful movie, “Secondhand Lions”. I don’t think I’ve posted about it before; at least I didn’t see it when I did a quick search. The movie takes place in the 1960s on an isolated place in west Texas. The McCann brothers, Hub (Robert Duvall) and Garth (Michael Caine) wind up with their great nephew Walter (Haley Joel Osment) for the summer. The mother Mae, played by Kera Sedgwick, is utterly irresponsible which plays out in multiple ways. Of the two childless uncles, Garth is the most sympathetic to the boy, although Hub is more so than his tough exterior allows him to express. The two men are rumored to have a great treasure on the premises, thus the constant presence of greedy relatives and persistent traveling salesmen.

The first thirty minutes might move a bit slowly for some, but is important in setting up the story. Wild tales of great adventure of the brothers are told to Walter as the dynamics shift and relationships change, both humorously and touchingly. The meaning of family, the aspect of aging away from one’s youth, the concept of one true great love, are woven together as the summer progresses. The speech, “What Every Boy Needs To Know About Being a Man” (or words to that effect), is heartwarming and the closing scenes of the movie are perfect. I didn’t realize until today it was actually a book published in 2003. I probably should have thought of that before since so many movies are adapted. I don’t think it’s on Kindle so I won’t order it as I really am trying to not add to the physical number of books we have. Anyway, as people are still inside a great deal, keep an eye out for this movie.

Weddings and Marriages…..

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My cousin’s youngest daughter is among those who have had to cancel their wedding. It would have been a lovely outdoor event on a beach in Alabama the first week of May. The issue with trying to reschedule was my cousin wisely said they would not go for a date that was also during hurricane season which meant pushing into the fall. Rather than try and manage all that, the couple decided to forego a wedding for a civil service and as soon as they are able to travel, they will go on the honeymoon.

That brings to mind a friend who was discussing his daughter’s upcoming second wedding. He was quite clear about the fact he never thought her first husband was the right man for her, but did dutifully write the large checks for the “perfect wedding”. I suspect he did not refrain from at least one, “I told you so” though when the divorce was finalized. The second husband-to-be did meet with approval, but the event, while still quite nice, was not going to be anything like the first one. His comment to me was, “The last time we paid for a wedding; this time we’re paying for a marriage.”

I have posted previously that people may spend their money in whatever way they choose. Weddings, like cars, certainly have a range from economical to astronomical. If one has always wanted to own a Ferrari and either has the resources to do so or chooses to sacrifice buying other things in order to have the Ferrari, that’s fine. I, on the other hand, don’t even have that on my “if we win the lottery list”. That simply isn’t where I would want to put $200,000 (or in that ballpark). So, for my second cousin who won’t have the pageantry, it will still be a marriage.

 

 

The Paradox of the Arts…..

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As I have discussed in previous posts, our son becoming a dancer was not what we expected and of course I have never had the commercial breakthrough as a writer. Hubby takes fabulous photographs and while he has sold several, it certainly hasn’t been substantial. The small percentage of anyone in the arts making a decent living, (not to mention the tiny percent that become rich and famous), is why so many parents say, “Well yes, but what are you going to do to make money?, to the actor, artist, dancer, musician, singer, writer. In this current crisis it is especially difficult as so many are independent and therefore don’t properly fit into an employment category. One of the reasons for the block grants to states was to allow them to use funds for programs they may have to help individuals like this. Florida has such a program, apparently Virginia where they kids are does, too, and I would like to think the other states do as well.

So, the paradox here is as people are sheltering in place, particularly if they have children, what are they doing? Reading, watching television, listening to music, playing video games, doing some kind of arts/crafts; in other words using the arts to help distract them/fill their days. There is a definite element of irony.  Like everyone, we hope we are soon able to start a return to “normal” in the sense of getting what have been termed non-essential businesses back to work. Most major corporations can weather a few months, but for the proverbial “mom and pop”, it’s extremely difficult. Aside from the economic aspect, there is a psychological impact that some will find they don’t recover from. With Easter on the horizon, I suspect many people will be thinking of the term “resurrection” with more than the traditional meaning.

An Interesting Point…..

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Potentially emotional alert. I am one of probably a lot of people who didn’t recall the Swine Flu of 2009 was in fact a Pandemic from January 2009 to August 2010. Like many others, I thought the Spanish Influenza of 1918-1920 was the last one. There were more than 12,000 deaths in the U.S. during the 2009-2010 one which was basically a 10% death rate. So far, with COVID-19, it is holding around 2.2%. The interesting point I ran across earlier today is differentiating with cause versus presence of the virus and death.

This is not actually splitting hairs. It’s a bit like what happens when counting scuba diving fatalities. Heart attack is the prime example. If an individual suffers a fatal heart attack while diving, that doesn’t mean he or she wouldn’t have had the same fatal heart attack under similar circumstances.Let us say the individual did not go diving that day, but instead worked in his or her yard, raking leaves or weeding. The same level of exertion set up the attack which had the same fatal result. It would not likely be referred to as a “yard work death”, but most assuredly is listed as a scuba-related death.

In the case of the COVID-19, a number of physicians are now trying to explain the fact a person has the virus and dies doesn’t mean the virus was the cause. The inclination is to make the assumption the virus is the cause, but that may not be correct, nor can it be determined unless an autopsy is performed. This will probably not happen under the circumstances. It does support the concern that people with underlying conditions are more vulnerable to the effect of the virus. The deaths are tragic and does not lessen the pain of loss, no matter the actual cause. However, as decisions are being made that impact the entire country from a social and economic perspective, it is important to try and pinpoint the true degree of danger.

Thinking of My Grandparents……

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We Babyboomers who had grandparents we were close to often did not necessarily pay attention to their stories of coping with the Great Depression. In each case for me, what they dealt with was bad, but paternal grandparents had the farm in rural Arkansas and maternal grandparents were in a very small Louisiana town. They, therefore were somewhat shielded from the worst of what people saw with breadlines and utter devastation in places where the Dustbowl hit. Daddy, born in 1924, was a youngster throughout that time and had nothing to compare deprivations to. Since his parents had some livestock, to include chickens, and grew produce for their own consumption, crops for sale were on a relatively small scale. Mother, the youngest of three, was not born until 1930 and so had little memory of the most difficult years. While they did live in town, one of the claims to fame of the local bank was it stayed open, having somehow convinced people (it was in fact named People’s Bank) to not have the kind of “run” that closed so many down. I now wish I’d listened to the story of how that came about.

My point here is if our economy cannot restart until around May, that will be approximately two months of intense closure. Several state are already declaring June for three months. Logically, there will be a ramp-up rather than a “roar back” for another some months until full recovery. This then is why the “old rule” of having six months (preferably a year) worth of living expenses in savings would seem to have been accurate all along.This mantra from many of our grandparents, passed on to their children (our parents) is rooted in what they experienced.

For those who  live paycheck-to-paycheck because of low-paying jobs/high cost of living areas, that has never been doable. For those who chose spending versus savings, once we get through this, the old adage may be something they re-visit.

 

 

 

 

Supporting Local Restaurants…..

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I don’t intend to get into politics. We are as is being said, in “uncharted waters” (or whatever term you prefer), yet some of the restrictions set out are simply not sustainable. As more hard data becomes available rather than mostly modeling, decisions as to focused solutions will hopefully come about in the next week or two.

In the meantime, small businesses considered non-essential will see some financial assistance with passage of the economic bill yesterday. Help will not be immediate of course, which goes back to the point of the mantra of having three-to-six months of savings set aside to carry one through emergencies. Many, of course, do not have that various reasons.

In the case of a barber shop being closed, there’s nothing we can do to help them. With our local restaurants, we can, and are doing carry-out to reflect at least the same rate as we usually do, and a little more. Less than two weeks ago, when I had one of those lunch out five days in a row in addition to the standing Wed and Fri Happy Hours, Hubby joked about me having lunch out more than anyone he knew. In general though, I do have lunch out at least once and often twice a week, so there is no reason not to do that now. Fridays nights have always been pizza night for us and Hubby’s favorite is Papa Johns. Under the circumstances, he said we would use one of the family-owned places instead until they are all able to re-open for regular business. I was especially glad to see the governor here is allowing those restaurants with their liquor license to sell beer and wine to go. (The usual laws pertaining to it being bagged and no open containers in the vehicle still apply). After all, when we dine out, we always order a bottle of wine or beer. I am also glad we’re in a position to be able to do this for at least a while.

 

Juggling Like Everyone……

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Parenting is rarely easy for people who live in the real world. Having been a single parent with no live-in help for almost six years, (age four months to just after son’s 6th birthday), I completely empathize with all parents trying to cope with the extended release from schools. Aside from so many families where both parents work which means one might have to take off, the work from home if possible comes with its own complications. Not every family can arrange dual office space to be productive plus have somewhere for the kids to be. As much as I applaud schools who are able to have distance learning, not every parent is equipped to help with it. These are the moments when the parent who chose to home school rather than go into the external workplace does have an advantage.

We are about three generations removed from when stay-at-home moms was the norm and there were only  three TV channels – four if you happened to be somewhere with PBS – so  kids in general weren’t routinely entertained by TV and of course there were no computers at the time. Going back to doing things the old-fashioned way has some good points, but it’s definitely an adjustment for those who don’t have much, if any, experience in what that means. On the other hand, families that do have plenty of electronics can access a variety of virtual “travel” and other tools they might not otherwise “get around to”.

When I spoke to the kids yesterday, I did recommend they keep a journal. None of us knows how long this will go on and not only is it extreme disruption to so much routine, there may be long-term impacts we can’t anticipate. Recording one’s raw thoughts at this time could be valuable for later. Granddaughter is at the age where she is likely to remember little of what is happening and might want to know more about it when she gets older.

Other Crisis…….

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Serious musings alert. There are many unknowns the first time any generation faces a crisis. For those of us of a certain age, the 1960s were when lots of parents/grandparents weren’t certain the country would survive. The Vietnam War brought protests to a scale they had not previously experienced. There were riots with huge swaths of cities ablaze, assassinations, the ever-present Cold War and nuclear arms build-up. If we took the time to listen to our grandparents, they told of struggles during the Great Depression and impact of World War II.

This means my generation might not have fully understood the 1960s, yet most of us were changed in different ways by immense cultural shifts that occurred. We entered then into  uncertainty of the 1970s which for a variety of reasons took us to a point of the period that became known as American Malaise; gas shortages, high inflation, and the terrible taking of the American Embassy in Iran where fifty-two were held hostage for more than a year. (The movie Argo in an excellent treatment of some who escaped initial capture and isn’t even too over-the-top). The era of President Ronald Reagan brought a remarkable time with a revived economy and an ultimate end to the Cold War. On the other hand, new dangers arose. Desert Storm also brought a much-needed boost to the U.S. military, which I won’t go into in this post.

For Generation X, (those not personally touched by Desert Storm), the horrors of 9/11 was the equivalent of our parents/grandparents’ Pearl Harbor and their first impact of a world-changing event. There have of course been regional natural disasters of hurricanes, tornadoes, etc., tens of thousands have been through.

For Millennials and Generation Z, the Corona Virus pandemic may, however, be their first major-scale crisis. Perspective is important. Let us hope the current turmoil ends soon, but also work with our younger generations to assure them we have dealt with crisis before.

A New Experience For Sure…..

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The advantage of modern medicine compared to the 1918 Influenza (Spanish Flu) pandemic which lasted two years, is treatments are being worked as is a vaccine. While I completely agree with fast-tracking, that is a relative term. The expression, “the cure was worse than the disease”, exists for a reason. Despite wanting to get something out and available, adverse side effects must be avoided.

Setting aside the medical aspects, the economic impact is going to be far-reaching and difficult for so many. Even though disaster funds have always been part of a recovery, they are very much after the fact and generally bogged down in red tape. How someone manages with no pay for perhaps as much as eight weeks is especially unsettling. Then there will be the inevitable scams that arise in similar situations and of course we’ve already seen the absurd hoarding aspect.

With all that said, for every kindness and consideration that is being shown, I hope we spread those stories. Who hasn’t teared up at the clips of Italians opening their windows and doors to share the beauty of opera within the neighborhoods? Even if we can’t be creative like that, let us keep an eye out for good ideas others are coming up with and support them either with action if practical or by letting people know about them. I’ll be talking to the kids today about their situation. Living in a 1,000 (basically) square foot condo with an active five-year-old will be challenging. They do have the advantage of their weather entering true spring and lots of nearby outdoor areas. Since they both work for businesses that have been shut down for at least a few weeks, they will have plenty of family time. I suspect trading off so each parent can have a little “me time” might turn out to be just as important.