Category Archives: When Real Life Interferes

A Salute to Local Animal Rescue…..

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This Is The Dog Event Poster

This Is The Dog Event Poster

Many newcomers to the Homestead area are startled to learn that there is no animal shelter below South Miami. The reasons for that are a bit muddled, but two groups have stepped forward in what is sadly an on-going struggle against irresponsible pet owners. People who chose to have pets and refuse to have them spayed or neutered or who toss them aside to whatever fate want to pretend that this is not a serious issue. A grassroots group, This Is The Dog, (http://thisisthedog.com) works incredibly hard with volunteers and inadequate funding to do what they can to rescue and foster dogs and cats as they find homes for them. They also try to educate people as to the growing problem and work with other rescue groups to promote spaying, neutering, and adoption. A second group, the Gateway Animal Shelter (http://www.gatewayanimalrescue.com) is helping raise funds and promote awareness to actually build a shelter in Homestead.

There is a fundraiser tomorrow, Friday, 26 April from 6:00-10:00 p.m. on Krome Ave in Homestead. It’s a “Fashion Show” for dogs and more. Lots of fun, food trucks, and a great chance for animal lovers to help out.

Recognizing Abuse….

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Serious content alert. No matter what we might say publically, most people are willing to believe that abuse doesn’t happen to people that we actually know and certainly not in “nice” families. The concept of human trafficking is the stuff of novels and movies. There is a program in town called Start Off Smart (SOS) at http://startoffsmartinc.com that was established to try and address the root causes of domestic violence and other abuse and raise awareness of the very real issue of human trafficking. Sadly, Florida is one of the leading states in this plague because so many people who want to immigrate are vulnerable to exploitation. I won’t go into graphic details, but local human trafficking often involves forcing individuals into labor situations that are in essence modern day slavery. These people are often in the country illegally and therefore, how can they ask for help? One of the most effective ways for ordinary citizens to assist is to understand that it does exist and if a situation seems suspicious or if someone comes to you for help, don’t dismiss it as “not possible”.

Domestic abuse is always a sensitive issue because aside from the fact that no one wants to accuse someone in error, there can be other reasons to not want to be involved. After all, how do you initiate a conversation with someone asking that question? Since I have personally never been a witness to such a thing (to the best of my knowledge), I don’t have a good answer. What is important though, I think, is to find out what resources are available in your area so that you know what to do in the event that you do become aware of a problem. Another aspect is that if you are looking to volunteer, helping with a shelter or other program might be something to consider.

I spent time this morning with an extended family of three sisters and a mother and then another woman, all of whom finally broke away from abusive relationships and/or marriages. There were multiple generations of abuse and more than anything, the women want their children to understand that this is not how things should be. As heartbreaking as their stories were, the fact that they were able to find a program to help them rise above what had happened was uplifting. No, abuse is not a pleasant subject, and perhaps you will never personally  encounter it. But I would urge you to check into your local resources as a just-in-case sort of thing. You never know who you might be able to help.

The Irony of Envy……

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Serious content alert. I had a soulful conversation recently with a friend whose sister’s marriage is possibly unraveling. Like most people, she in turn, needed someone as a sounding board and I don’t mind. She doesn’t do blogs or Facebook, so there is little chance of her reading this post, not to mention that she lives quite distant from here. I don’t actually know her sister, but have heard the story for years of their financial successes – the impressive salaries, the executive home, the highend cars. No children because they wouldn’t fit in with their demanding jobs and lifestyle. (That’s a decision that a lot of people make.) Now, I don’t know if this is a correct perception or not, but my friend has always felt that the sister considered her to be lacking in ambition because she chose a different path. A professional, yet not in a job where you would ever get rich, a quite nice, although more modest home  based on the photos that I’ve seen, two children, a husband, also a professional, but no chance of making a big salary. They do okay, but no, definitely not in the same category as her sister. To the best of my knowledge there has not been overt envy, merely the understandable wistful comments at times.

As happens though, both of the couple’s companies downsized, the high-paying job no longer needed at all for the sister, a lower-paying position offered to the husband. I don’t know the details and wouldn’t want to, but apparently their income had gone mostly to fund the comfortable lifestyle and not into a savings plan to cover a sustained downturn. And for those who have never been through it, money troubles can wreak havoc on a marriage. The house, I gather, is pending or heading to foreclosure and there is a lot of anger spilling over into every conversation. Depression is apparently an issue as well and the worry in my friend’s voice can be clearly heard. I provided a shoulder and “uh,huh’d” a good bit. I will do that as often as my friend needs me to and I can only hope that everything eventually works out for everyone.

Something Extraordinary from Tragedy……

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As I have mentioned in previous posts, there are so many charitable organizations and good causes that no one can support them all, and not even all those that you might wish to. However, when I run across a new one that I think some of the readers might be interested in, I do want to highlight them. Today, that happens to be an organization called KaBoom!, and no, it has nothing to do with weapons. In fact, it is exactly the opposite. http://kaboom.org/about_kaboom I will quote directly from their web site:

“KaBOOM! is a national non-profit dedicated to saving play for America’s children.Our mission is to create great playspaces through the participation and leadership of communities. Ultimately, we envision a place to play within walking distance of every child in America.”

Please take a few minutes and go to their website to learn about this remarkable group. I suggest that you grab a tissue when you read their story, not so much because of the tragedy that inspired the idea, but also because of the heartwarming effect that their efforts are having. In a nutshell, KaBoom! has shown more than 14,000 times since 1995 that you can get a group together in a community and have a wonderful playground built in three days. That’s right – three days. They have a well-organized plan that is similar to the “Blitz Builds” of Habitat for Humanity and they have spread across the nation to help communities in their vision to bring playgrounds to neighborhoods that need them.

In two weeks time, Homestead will be added to the list of communities that have benefitted from a playground build. I am looking forward to seeing how it unfolds.

Some Thoughts on Hospice…..

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Serious content alert. I know, I usually go for light-hearted or at least poignant, but a Tweet about a hospice volunteer caught my attention the other day. That brought to mind doing a post for those who might not be familiar with hospice. Perhaps you will never be in a position to need that service, but it is good to know about it. I was only vaguely familiar with hospice when I was with my former mother-in-law during the last months of her life. Like many people I spoke with later, I associated hospice with cancer patients. That is correct, but the actual criteria for hospice care is that an individual be declared by a physician to be terminal, and that can be any medical condition. Although the “terminal” aspect is considered to be six months or less, that is not a hard-and-fast definition, and some patients do actually recover. Despite the fact that my former mother-in-law was only under hospice care for a week, I learned a great deal and devoted a chapter of Your Room at the End: Thoughts About Aging We’d Rather Avoid to explaining more about this approach to end-of-life care.

The essentials though are that there is no hospice with a capital “H”, per se. Each Hospice group is organized independently, adhering to the same principals and abiding by the local state rules for medical care. Some hospices are associated with religious groups and others are not. Some offer a paid service of nurses and nurses assistants for on-site 24-hour care, but not all do. Three important things to know about hospice are that: (1) the individual must have made the decision to cease medical solutions other than for pain management and comfort. In other words, if an individual continues to take treatment or medication that is intended to battle a disease/condition, the individual is not eligible for hospice. I know, it runs contrary to what we usually do and that is why the decision to enter hospice can be so difficult – sometimes more so for the loved ones that for the individual. (2) An individual can still be in a hospital or other care facility because there may not be a suitable “home” to go to, or the individual might require something like artificial feeding. The artifical feeding is for comfort, not to combat the underlying disease/condition. In this case,  the hospice “team” takes over certain functions while the hospital/facilty staff continues with others. (3) Entering hospice care does not mean someone is “giving up”. What it means is that an individual acknowledges that he/she is in a terminal state and no longer wishes to undergo invasive procedures and may prefer to be at home for their final months, weeks, or days. It is a time for family and friends to make their farewells.

This synopsis about hospice is greatly simplified and if you have aging parents, other relatives, or friends, I urge you to read more about hopsice. No, it isn’t a pleasant subject, yet I will tell you from experience that it can a wonderful source of support at what will be a very emotional time.

Disappearing Days….

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That is how it feels sometimes, isn’t it, when you jam a day completely full? So many people lead such hectic lives that you can look around and think, “My Lord, where did the day go?” Well, there are many ways to phrase that question of course, but I do try to keep the blog PG-13 rated. In my case, the past three days have fallen into that category, but it was actually a domino effect. Events scheduled for yesterday caused me to do extra work Sunday and Monday in preparation and then unexpected actions from yesterday spilled over into today. I may, or may not, be able to get back on track by the time I have to pop out for a networking event.

I am however, closing in on getting all the tax information gathered which unfortuantely is only step one, albeit a major step. For all you freelancers out there, perhaps you are more diligent than I at recording things. Actually, I am better than I ued to be, although there is still ample room for improvement. No, we don’t do our taxes – haven’t for years and while I do have great respect for tax prep software, you can reach a point with extra complicating factors as we did, and you decide it’s worth paying someone else to deal with it. That brings to mind a friend who was getting his degree in accounting. I aked what he was planning to do after graduating and he said, “Go to work for the IRS.” I was suprised, but his explanation made sense. Working for a few years in the IRS tends to increase one’s marketability in the private sector. Okay, that I can understand.

So, folks out there – where are you in the process of getting your taxes ready?

 

 

Making a Difference….

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Alert!, there is religious content in this post. Those who follow the blog know that I skirt politics and religion. However, there are times when social or cultural aspects “flow” into one of those areas and this is such a time.

Last weekend we went to St Petersburg for a combined business and pleasure trip, although in actuality even the “business” was quite pleasant. Friday night we met up with friends and were introduced to the delightful Gulfport restaurant/shopping section and had a wonderful discussion about maritime history and diving that will be the subject of a future post.

Saturday, I left husband at the hotel on whatever part of the Bay that was, to relax while I drove north to Largo. The Christ the King Lutheran Church in Largo has established a partnership with the Christian Outreach Center (COC) that: “Under the leadership of John and Brenda Grampsas, the “C.O.C.” is dedicated to sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with children and their families in Pinellas County. Children develop a positive relationship with adults who care for them and ultimately with Jesus Christ as their Savior. The programs consist of a meal, game time, music, movie with popcorn, a Bible lesson told using puppets, skits and/or audio visuals, object lessons to reinforce the message”. (http://ctklc.org/about/christian-outreach-center)

The major fundraiser that they hold each year is a luncheon and quilt auction and that’s what I became involved in through a rather circuitous manner. With my entry into writing the American Quilter’s Society’s new line of books, the Helen Crowder Adventure Series, I am absorbing quilting information and attending this luncheon and auction gave me access to around 300 quilters. The day was, simply put, a lot of fun. I met some delightful women, saw incredible quilts, learned a number of things, and the positive energy in the room was uplifting. Brenda, as the main organizer and auctioneer, definitely had help and although I know from experience how much work these events are, it seemed to run smoothly. There were quilting clubs as well as individual quilters, crafters, and I suppose just regular people there for the fundraiser. Teens and perhaps adolescents who are in the COC helped serve the meal and I imagine helped with set-up and clean-up, and you couldn’t have asked for more polite, outgoing assistants. I don’t know how it was behind the scenes, but from a casual observer’s perecptive, the “kids” were great.

The fundraising part was successful, too, and if I attend next year, I’ll plan to bid on one of those lovely quilts they had available. I know, I know, I should have taken photos.

Year End Reflections……

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Poignancy warning. I am sitting in a quiet house, sipping coffee as my husband, son, and daughter-in-law sleep. In actuality, I slept late for me and so will have less quiet time to write this. I won Free Cell and have once again been defeated at the computer chess game, but that’s hardly surprising since I’m not that good a chess player. It’s funny that I just thought of the guy who taught me to play chess all those years ago. I think I’ll check on FB and see if I can find him.

We’re planning a festive evening with the menu that I posted earlier, the kids are going to the fascinating Monkey Jungle, and if Mother Nature doesn’t lay the wind down, we’ll have to rearrange furniture so we can seat eight people inside. (Poolside dining on New Year’s Eve is such a fun thing to do.)

All in all, it’s a good day, yet I’m struggling with something that I’ve avoided trying to clarify because as often happens, it is an uncomfortable issue. The old “seven deadly sins” pretty much sums up the foundation of many human ills, although it is the one of “envy” that’s causing my reflection. There is much to envy when we focus on the material world and we are very attuned to that for a variety of reasons. We combine that with wanting to present the “right image” and when we can’t necessarily obtain, or in some cases, sustain that, it gives rise to anger or sadness. We want to “blame someone” because we haven’t gotten what we think is “fair”, or feel sad because we can’t have something in particular. It’s good to have goals, ambitions, and dreams, and as I have written about before, I firmly believe in the saying of, “Man’s reach should exceed his grasp”. If you achieve one goal or dream, sure, go ahead and reach for another. In doing so though, are you forgetting to appreciate what you have? And is the goal or dream being driven mostly by the desire to be “better” than someone else rather than to be something for yourself or for someone you care about? Is envy at the root of whatever it is you want? As a die-hard capitalist, I’m all for the house, car, travel, etc., What I am not for is racking up crippling debt to have those things and being unable to either prioritize what you want to make appropriate trade-offs or to say, “No, sorry can’t afford that.” And no, I’m not talking here about that flash of envy where you look at your losing lottery ticket and think, “Man, why couldn’t that have been me?”. And are there greedy people out there (another of those seven deadly sins) who truly don’t seem to deserve the bounty they get? Yes, as there have been since mankind came into existence.

So as this year closes and a new year is upon us, here is hoping that you attain/keep those things that are genuinely important to you.

 

Traveling During the Holidays……

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It is winter. This means potential snow and ice and travel delays. Mother Nature, as we all know, tends to not be respectful of human plans when it comes to such things. People travel so that planes and other means of transport are full, highways get jammed and trips can become snarled. Here’s the thing. You will either eventually get to where you are supposed to go, or if you are on a particularly short schedule, you will determine that you can’t make the trip and cancel it. That’s what happens. It’s frustrating and disappointing and can sometimes be expensive. Pleading with Mother Nature and snarling at other people does not usually resolve the problem. Of course it can be difficult to maintain calm when you’re tired and watching your plans crumble, and yes, the additional cost of traveling over the holidays adds to that stress.

Here’s wishing you safe and smooth travels, but if you encounter problems, here is also hoping that you can take a deep breath or two and remember that you are not alone with the problem. If you roll in during the wee hours of Christmas Day, you are still there. If you are stuck somewhere and can only telephone and say you’ll be there the day after, or are calling it quits, the spirit that is Christmas surrounds those that will be thinking of you and can reach through cyberspace to give you a virtual hug.

Naturally, whether traveling or not, if you have some time on your hands and are looking for the heart-warming kind of story to read, I have three holiday-themed ones in the Short Story Archive of my website. Granted, Twelve Pack Trip is for Thanksgiving, but it’s the same sentiment. Draft With a Sprig of Mistletoe and A Misty Christmas are obviously for this time of year and one of these days I’ll get around to crafting a new one.

The Freedom of Education…..

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This is another of those posts that is not intended to be political in nature, but probably brushes up against that in some sense. Many years ago when I was working on my master’s degree, I took a course in the sociology of education as part of the Interdisciplinary program I was in (Organizational Development). Although I do not profess to be a teacher, I am a trainer at multiple levels and I have been involved in the training of literally hundreds of soldiers during my career. I have always had an interest in education and I recently joined a committee to work with local schools and businesses to see how we as a community can help high school and even middle school students prepare for the workplace.

There have also been recent developments in improving local schools that are showing measurable benefits. Those are all good things, but sadly, there are still families who either do not or will not take an interest in their child/children’s education as is seen in delinquiency and drop out rates. While I am a big proponent of trade education as well as college education, completion of high school is an important building block no matter which route is taken after that. When a student cannot understand this point for whatever that reason may be, he or she is already facing a life with restricted choices. While yes, a student might have a rebellious nature or be intensley authority-adverse, in most cases there is family influence at work. Overcoming this influence to try and help a student understand the importance of a high school education is one of the reasons that I urge mentor programs. It can make a diffference in whether a student stays in school or drops out.

There is rarely a one-size-fits-all solution and knowing what resources are available within your community to assist “at-risk” youth is important. So if you are looking for volunteer opportunities, this is something to consider.