Okay, this week is usually kind of calm with the second week of December being jammed. Not so much this year. It started out as going to be extra busy anyway, then last Thursday as I was headed to a luncheon, I was in a wreck. I have been in one bad wreck many years ago, but how things are done have changed considerably. On the good news side, neither of us was injured although my air bags did deploy. Having never been through that before, I did have a great deal of bruising and aches until a couple of days ago. Bruises are getting better, too. Vehicle was totaled, but because it was taken to a different facility since the intersection had to be cleared, that set up a disconnect between getting the vehicle picked up. Now, a dear friend came to rescue me and stayed with me as got rental car, then made first trip to the facility where the vehicle had been taken.

The main difference since last time is so much is supposed to be done on-line or “by app”, and as anyone who follows this blog knows, that is not a strength for me. I have lost count of the texts and emails and needing to get “unconfused” (I know that’s not a word) with the processes. I did check yesterday into perhaps getting a Ford Edge this time, but decided to get another Escape instead. I am really short and not all vehicle seats are designed for someone under 5 foot. You can adjust a seat up, down, back, and forth; yet not the way it hits the back of your legs. This new one is missing a couple of features I liked and has a couple of new ones that Hubby likes. What we will miss is the “memory seat” setting since we obviously need different positions for the driver’s seat.

I’ve been longer than usual in posting due to an unavoidable situation that will be resolving soon. In the meantime, I have a guest post here. In writing for the paper, I’ve covered stories occasionally of women who have come through the trauma of domestic violence. Abby Holt, the guest blogger, is also familiar with such cases, and while it is an intense topic, her points have application to those who may be facing major changes for other reasons.

The Key to Using Major Life Transitions to Your Advantage

Going through major life transitions is a fantastic opportunity to change things up, start fresh, and replace bad habits with positive ones. Taking on a new job, moving to a different area, and other transitions are challenging, but they can also help us realize our true potential. Below, Abby Holt of Craftability explores five major life transitions that you can leverage as a domestic violence survivor to nix bad habits and adopt good ones.

Take Stock of Your Bad Habits

Before you can begin replacing your bad habits, you must first take the time to understand what they are. CoughPro suggests starting by making a list of every bad habit you can think of and the situations or triggers that lead to them. Then, you can develop a plan to overcome them.

Leave Toxic Relationships

Relationships do a lot to shape our behavior, both positively and negatively. That’s why it’s essential to take a close look at the people in your life if you’re trying to break a bad habit.

Say, for example, you’re surrounded by people who engage in the same negative behaviors or enable your bad habits. In that case, it’s time to reevaluate. Leaving toxic relationships can be hard, but it’s a major life transition that can help you cut out negative habits and adopt positive ones.

Reexamine What You Put in Your Body

The old saying is true: we really are what we eat. So what you put in your body can make a big difference in how you feel. Relying on fast food and sugary drinks is a common vice that you can address by seeking out farmers markets and restaurants that serve whole foods.

If you drink several cups of coffee or espresso beverages a day in order to stay energized, take a look at the amounts of caffeine in each drink and cut back. You may be surprised by how much caffeine you’re actually consuming. And caffeine is both a stimulant and a diuretic, so too much can affect your sleep (hello self-perpetuating cycle) and dehydrate you.

Become Your Own Boss

Owning a business allows you to take control of your work environment and create an atmosphere that supports your mission to change your habits. It’s also an excellent opportunity to establish a fresh, healthy lifestyle for building something from the ground up! You can even simplify your passion project by leveraging online resources to streamline the startup process. There are services that can help with legal paperwork, name selection, and other important aspects of starting a business.

Further, you can also use online resources to research your competition, identify a potential customer base, and develop a marketing strategy. Doing so will accelerate your startup process and help set you up for success.

Moving to a Different City

Along with presenting the opportunity to break bad habits and adopt positive ones more easily, relocating can give you the chance to change your environment and start a new chapter in your life. Maybe you end up finding a new, more fulfilling job. Training & eTracking Solutions points out that a simple change of scenery can do wonders for your mental health. When it comes to overcoming bad habits, few actions are more effective than moving away.

Making Healthier Choices

Times of transition are an opportunity to make healthier choices. For instance, if you move to a city with excellent outdoor recreation opportunities, you might find that you naturally adopt healthier habits. Or if you relocate somewhere that has more walk-friendly areas, you might find yourself walking more than driving. New routines and environments also allow us to establish new habits more quickly than we would in the day-to-day lives we’re used to.

Embrace the Changes

As difficult as they may be, major life transitions provide you with a chance to take stock of your life and replace the habits you’ve been wanting to replace. Exiting toxic relationships, taking on a new career, making healthy decisions, and relocating are a few of the many waves to improve your quality of life.

Change can be scary, but it can also be thoroughly rewarding. Take this opportunity to start fresh and create the life you’ve always wanted. Approach your next transition with the right mindset, and incorporate positive habits into your routine!

End of post.

Emotional content alert. A friend’s father passed away recently and as often happens, it brought to mind memories of other passings. As I mentioned in the posts about my father, his decline had been gradual – like “fading” – for a few years. In those final three weeks when the hospice nurse recommended come, there was a rally where my sister and I were able to be there and he was unaware of our real purpose in the “unexpected visit”.

Turning to my friend; she had relocated her father from his previous home as his second wife had passed away and despite his protests, he could no longer live alone. As often happens in families, she was the one who stepped up to make the arrangements and be his advocate in assisted care here. There was adjustment that wasn’t always smooth, but it did work out. She and her husband had a trip to Brazil (his home country) planned for this month and prior to leaving her father had a series of trips to the hospital. Despite many tests, there was no good diagnosis and he was better and seemed to be stable. She went on the trip and went to see her father as soon as they returned. He was still having issues with falling and a night attended was engaged as a precaution. Within only a few days, everything changed. Confusion, etc., and hospice was brought in. From that, it was very rapid although my friend was able to be with him and it was quite peaceful at the end. There is not a large family and because of his recent relocation, she will later take his ashes back to his previous location to be interred in the plot with his second wife.

We friends are of course here for her in whatever she needs.

For our parents, it was Dec 7, 1941. Until September 11, 2001 for we Babyboomers, it was always November 22, 1963. For GenXers, it might always be 9/11.  I don’t know if I will get through this post without crying and I don’t generally talk about it.

It was an oddity of timing for me. My sister was in for a short visit and I was to take her to Baltimore to fly back to Houston. Hubby was at Headquarters, Army Materiel Command where I also worked part time as a contractor. He and some others were scheduled to go to the Pentagon for a meeting that morning. Sis and I tend to chatter from the time we get up through the day and after Hubby left for work, I turned the television off having seen the weather report for what was a lovely September day. Sis and I were leaving early for the airport because I wanted to take her by Savage Mills, an old mill complex converted into a great area of shops and restaurants. We didn’t have the radio on in the car. Sis had a meeting the next day and when we stopped at the Mill, she called into her assistant to check to see that something was lined up for the meeting. I heard her say something like, “No, not at the airport,” then “What?”, “Bomb, Pentagon,” and not much after that. She obviously looked shaken and I said, “Someone finally got through the Pentagon with a bomb?” That’s when she told me and we jumped back in the car to turn the radio on. It was pure lucky timing she even got the call through as there was a nationwide jam on most cell towers.

At that point, I didn’t know if Hubby had gone to the Pentagon. She couldn’t fly out of course and we were about 30 minutes from home – well, had traffic been normal. Our route back took us within sight of the Pentagon where the black column of smoke was still rising. We got to the townhouse and I already had a few voicemails waiting, none from Hubby. We had the TV on by now and the phone literally wouldn’t stop ringing. One of the calls was finally from our son, who was at university. After he made sure I was okay, he said, “Sorry Mom, but the first time I called I think I accidentally erased a voice mail dad left you.” Okay, that at least answered that question.

Maybe an hour later Hubby did get through to me. They were preparing to leave for the Pentagon when the news came through. They immediately activated the Emergency Operations Center in the Headquarters and they tapped him to come back in for the night shift. He came home for about an hour to get his stuff and tell me as much as he could at the time. None of our personal friends who worked in the Pentagon were injured although we of course knew some of those who died. What most people didn’t realize was the plane at least hit mainly in the section that was undergoing renovation and so was not populated. That is why casualties were lower than would have been under normal circumstances. Even more importantly, it was on the side away from the on-site day care facility.

It took two more days I think it was for (might have been three) for Sis to be able to book a flight out.