Repeat Louisiana Trip, Day 1…..

Emotional content continues. We thought our father’s rally might sustain for a while. My sister called me Monday afternoon, Feb 21 with word he had passed away. She and her husband were headed back Tuesday, but I explained my situation with the friend in rehab to everyone. I wouldn’t be able to travel until Friday, the 25th. As it turned out, due to other circumstances, Sunday the 27th was going to be the best day for the funeral.

Ironically, my schedule for this trip is identical as the previous with the 5:24 a.m., out of Miami on a Friday and I’m scheduled to return on the 6:30 from here on Wednesday. The difference was I did use my “faithful driver” as he always claimed he was fine with pre-dawn pick-ups and was at our door his usual cheerful self at 3:15 a.m., yesterday. The drawback this time was the section of the airport we were in had absolutely nothing open; and as I had observed last time, there are no vending machines in the airport. Despite the many trips through MIA, I’d never noticed that. I’ll probably email about it at some point. There were two places preparing to open for what I imagine was a 5:00 a.m., start. That is early, but not quite early enough. I did have half a cup of coffee on the ride in and managed to make it until they served us a small cup on the flight.

Connection at DFW was still tight although a little better as the terminal for the swap was closer than before. The delay came in a ridiculously long wait to pick up the rental car. I did make it to the lawyer’s office before their lunch break to get the documentation I need as executor. My sister and brother-in-law then met me at Burger King for lunch before we went to take care of a critical piece of bank business.

In another of life’s ironic twists, our brother can’t come up because he and his wife have some cold/mild flu – COVID tests negative, but carrying any germs into a crowd these days is not appropriate.

Bouncing Between Stories……

This is one of those weeks with two stories already on tap for the paper and the third one hit this morning. On the other hand, it happens to be the follow-up piece to one I initiated couple of weeks ago and is a totally “feel good” piece.I didn’t previously post about ,”The Redneck Talent Show”, which put together by a YouTube star who has some connections to the area. His work has built up a following of more than 9 million and the Talent Show was something new for him and his team. The “talent” was wide open to different things with entertainment being the goal. With a prize of $10,000, it drew in more than locals. However, a local dance group (the newest in the area), did win. I wasn’t familiar with them and have been impressed with the day’s exchanges.

Of the other two, one is something relatively new that may well become an annual event and should bring a lot of people in who will be staying in hotels, dining out and so forth. Some will come in RVs since it’s an athletic event at the Speedway, but even with that, they’ll probably have to gas up before leaving and that certainly generates sales tax. There is still a perception that the Speedway is only about NASCAR or open only part time rather than understanding they have about 300 days a year with events. Some are small, and some, like this one have nothing to do wit cars/vehicles. The MIAMI CLASH is one of several locations and includes Pro and Amateur biking, running, and swimming competitions. Hubby will cover the actual events and I’m doing the preliminary to let people know about it.

The one that is distressing deals with thefts and vandalism against one of our Boy Scout troops – the historic one founded in 1946. Acts like these are never good, but when it involves a charitable/civic group it’s especially disturbing. A little publicity might possibly result in some useful information getting to the police.

Louisiana Trip, Day 6……

Having done basically all that could be done with the situation with my father, I was able to re-book to return yesterday. Unlike my other trips when I stay in Bossier and have dinner with my other high school friend, I hadn’t contacted any of them. I was also staying in the room with my sister so I set the alarm for 3:45 a.m., to add in the extra time to get to the airport for the flight to Dallas.

She had not been to Roma, the only Italian place in Minden and the nicest as it is in a historic building. I’ve written about it before although I had forgotten their veal is just okay – nothing special. I made a note in the phone for future reference. My sister enjoyed her shrimp scampi and their homemade rolls are good.

Both flights yesterday went smoothly and it didn’t take as long as sometimes for luggage, plus Hubby was able to come get me instead of using the driver. Today has been non-stop catching up as tomorrow will be super busy, too.

Louisiana Trip, Day 4……

Serious content continues. It was another somewhat muddled although productive day in one sense. I spoke with the ALF director; a lovely lady who has of course “seen it all”. My father and stepmother moved in Dec 2014, so a little more than seven years ago. I would say, “Where does the time go?”, but we all know the answer to that. We went through some administrative matters for the real, “when the time comes”. I finished sorting through the photographs and found some surprises. There was one of my father and three uncles all in coats and ties which my sister thought must have been at my grandmother’s funeral.I also found a small album with my nephew’s Eagle Scout ceremony and on my side, the batch of photos and write-up for the kids’ wedding. Neither set of grandparents were able to attend (it was in Maine) and I wrote about the prep, rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and reception.

We’d met earlier with the director of the funeral home to go over the pre-paid plan. The only change that had bee made since then was to have one with the American flag imprinted on the lining to indicate he was a veteran. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, he was in the Navy during the latter part of WWII which meant he did not see action.  He was on an ammunition ship though as they had to relocate thousands of tons of ammunition; tasks which did require paying attention to detail.

I was able to talk on the phone with the attorney as well about a couple of things and sister and I went to the Mexican restaurant downtown. Not quite what we’d planned for Valentine’s Day and it wasn’t crowded. I think most people celebrated over the weekend. I’d forgotten how large their portions were and w probably should have shared an entree. Chicken makes for good leftovers.

 

Louisiana Trip, Day 3…..

Although the initial thought that brought us to Louisiana to be with our father was not correct, we are supposed to meet with the hospice nurse today or tomorrow to discuss the situation.  I will continue with related tasks as we try to sort through things. The plummeted temperature is coming around even though at the moment it is 30 degrees out. It’s supposed to get into high sixties, then lows getting better through the week.

Sunday is usually a busy “visitors day” and two different sets of extended family from the step-sibling side dropped in yesterday. The “little kids” from before now range from high school to college and all seem to be doing well. I went through multiple photo albums and of all the things, found one of my sister, brother, and me when we were what looks like maybe 8, 6, and 4. There was also a short album the kids sent Daddy with granddaughter in various stages from birth to about 16 months. Those are precious of course. I also found a couple of sister and her husband when they were in college. I’ll go through other things today to see what can be tossed for now. There isn’t much use in keeping items like the 2019 Medicare booklet.

My sister had managed to build up some leftovers and there aren’t too many dining options on Sunday around here so we cleared those out last night. We’ll probably do the “funkier” Mexican restaurant tonight if it’s open as she’s never been there.

Louisiana, Day 2…..

Strong emotional content continues. Took my sister to see our aunt that lives a couple of hours south. My usual route of course is to swing through Natchitoches, see two sets of friends, then head over for the afternoon, spend the night and depart after breakfast the next day. Only one cousin was available and we only had about four hours to spend, so popped out to pick up catfish, shrimp, and hushpuppies after talking for a while.

As predicted, the temperature dropped significantly and it rained most of the way back. Not a hard rain though which made it manageable. Other step-brother and his wife were at the ALF along with the first step-sister. Daddy was in his chair asleep and had been for a few hours. In the midst of all this, there was yet another loss only a few weeks ago as my other step-sister passed away unexpectedly. Her husband came in later and of all the people involved in what is going on, he’s the one we are most concerned about. He is very close to Daddy and my step-sister had been through her medical issues with grit and determination. He’s been with her throughout and no one suspected the recent downturn would be different. For him to not barely get beyond the preliminary things after the death of a spouse and have this added in is so difficult. Daddy roused for a bit although with no prolonged interaction. My sister suggested our step-sister’s widower come to dinner with us and I’m glad she did. He is a genuinely good guy and we were able to talk some. Like with my other friend, I assured him I was available to talk in the early hours of the morning if the time comes when he feels that pang of loss so intently that he just needs to reach out.

More Irony In Play…..

When I wrote the last post, I had no idea of the email I would receive two days later. Although things seem to have stabilized today, earlier in the week, my father took a turn that alarmed the hospice nurse. My stepsister and her husband that don’t live close by contacted us and launched out to be with him. My sister flew in yesterday and I scrambled around to come in today. Our brother is in driving distance and he was “on hold” until we could find out what the story was. He’s a 6-7 hour drive away.

Before I continue, a word about hospice. In this case, as is common, my father has been “under hospice” for a while as a “preparation”. That means there was nothing specifically terminal, but when an event does manifest, no measures will be taken beyond pain control. That also means, however, no invasive tests, and it seems as if this time, his condition was less severe than thought a few days ago. We’re cautiously optimistic, but my sister and I are taking steps to lock certain details into place since we are here. We went by a florist this afternoon and opened a file with her. Monday we meet with the funeral home where our father has a pre-paid plan since none of us know exactly what all is involved. That, by the way, is something he and my stepmother too care of several years before she passed and I included it in my book, Your Room at the End: Thoughts About Aging We’d Rather Avoid.

My sister and I will go tomorrow to visit with the branch of the family that’s a couple hours south; the ones I always see on my regular trip. My sister hasn’t seen them for a few years and we can let everyone know what’s going on.

Friendships Through The Years…

Emotional content alert. I suppose it was almost ten years ago when my father and stepmother were in their mid-80s, they were at the point of attending lots of funerals of friends. Since that time my stepmother has passed and as I have posted here, my father is fading although still with us.

In all the talk of “sixty is the new forty”, etc., and we do generally live longer and healthier lives now, we Babyboomers have a tendency to make assumptions about our own longevity. Last year, although not due to COVID, my local circle and extended circle lost five women, ranging from early 80s to late 60s. One was an especially good friend and what made it all the more difficult was each death was very sudden. Lingering illnesses have a separate tragedy, yet it does provide the ability to at least somewhat prepare for loss. And of course, culturally, if we are talking about an older friend or relative, there is the concept of, “it was their time”.

A few days ago, a friend of 30-plus years notified us her husband died after a two-week bout with pneumonia. They are both several years younger than us and even though he did have some health issues, none were in the life-threatening category. She and his family are of course devastated. They have no children and actually relocated barely a year ago from their longtime home in Virginia. Ironically the move was partially to be closer to some specialized medical treatment for a entirely different condition. This is another case of, “It isn’t supposed to happen”, and all I can do at the moment is be available to her. I’ve been with her before for tough periods in her life; all of which were relatively short-term. She’ll have decisions to make about some things and those I can at least help with.

 

Not My First Rodeo…..

This is an expression, but in this case, also an event. I thought I’d posted one more time last week and obviously didn’t – then again, it’s been extra hectic.

At any rate, I haven’t attended a lot of rodeos although I appreciate them. Notwithstanding the usual protests, rodeo animals are well taken care of as they are valuable and the rodeo lifestyle is another of those cultures with language and traditions; some of which are only shared by insiders. Homestead holds the distinction of being the Southernmost rodeo in the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association (PRCA). It was founded in 1949 and last year was only the third time in its history to be cancelled. In the way that Mother Nature sometimes does though, we had our “two days of winter” over the weekend with temperatures in the high 50s. With the wind it was chillier and anyone not from here was of course laughing at us wearing jackets. It was sunny, however, which certainly helped.

The rodeo runs Fri, Sat, and Sun and the events are steer roping, barrel racing, bronco riding, bull riding, and I’m probably forgetting one or two. There is also the Everglades Posse Drill team and other local activities. The arena is large for a smaller rodeo and many of the non-profits have food booths as fund raisers. Only one is allowed to have the beer concession which always makes for long lines. In the past, I didn’t get to actually watch the rodeo because I worked the beer concession with the Chamber of Commerce. (I also didn’t get to drink much beer as I was usually handling the money for sales.) The Chamber let the concession go to another organization, and a friend had tickets for this year to share with us. Hubby was shooting for the paper so I went with a girlfriend.  I did see him when we first arrived and that was it. He moves up and down the fence line to be close to the action no matter which part of the arena it’s in.

Great Music Plus……

There are unexpected things that can touch us and for a number of people that happened in the unlikely place of the Seminole Theatre Saturday night. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, the Seminole has a Showcase series where they book a mix of performances and then there are multiple other productions by individuals and organizations such as when Homestead Center for the Arts does a show. Due to the cost (which of course then drives the ticket price), there is usually only one ” big name” per showcase series, but they bring in quite a few tribute bands. These are the bands who specialize in a famous band’s music and we’ve attended several over the years; all of which have been good.

So, Saturday night was the “Best of the Eagles” and with continuing concerns, the audience was smaller than it probably would have been otherwise, but there were still maybe 200. Ordinarily, the Seminole Director speaks to the audience in the beginning with a welcome, etc., We’d seen her earlier actually helping out up front to open the second bar and a gentleman we didn’t know was at the microphone instead. I didn’t catch the name (and now wished I had), and he explained they would start in a few minutes. They were from New Jersey and he was the promoter. Although this was his first time to bring a show to Homestead, he was impressed with the theatre and staff and had two or three others lined up for the season. He asked for all active duty military and veterans to stand to be recognized. After we sat down, he said he usually started a show with the Pledge of Allegiance, but since there wasn’t a flag, he would pass on that. Two things happened next; Katherine Rubio, the Director, (or it might have been another staff) called out there was a flag and one of the staff dashed down the aisle to go behind stage. There was a guy in front of us who had a flag patch on the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing and we all called out to say, “Hey, here’s one.” The guy looked only momentarily confused as the promoter asked if he would mind; that he didn’t want to be disrespectful of the guy. The guy willing went forward, and held his arm up toward the audience at about the same time the staff member brought a flag out. He positioned it where it was aligned with the guy and everyone recited the pledge. Now for the next part.

The promoter said he was at a venue (which he didn’t name) and they told him he could never do that again. He said he had multiple shows booked there and cancelled them all, that he wouldn’t agree to that rule. “Yes, it cost me a lot of money, but that’s okay.” Not surprisingly, there was a big round of applause. The band then came on stage for what was an excellent performance.