Serious content continues. It was another somewhat muddled although productive day in one sense. I spoke with the ALF director; a lovely lady who has of course “seen it all”. My father and stepmother moved in Dec 2014, so a little more than seven years ago. I would say, “Where does the time go?”, but we all know the answer to that. We went through some administrative matters for the real, “when the time comes”. I finished sorting through the photographs and found some surprises. There was one of my father and three uncles all in coats and ties which my sister thought must have been at my grandmother’s funeral.I also found a small album with my nephew’s Eagle Scout ceremony and on my side, the batch of photos and write-up for the kids’ wedding. Neither set of grandparents were able to attend (it was in Maine) and I wrote about the prep, rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and reception.

We’d met earlier with the director of the funeral home to go over the pre-paid plan. The only change that had bee made since then was to have one with the American flag imprinted on the lining to indicate he was a veteran. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, he was in the Navy during the latter part of WWII which meant he did not see action.  He was on an ammunition ship though as they had to relocate thousands of tons of ammunition; tasks which did require paying attention to detail.

I was able to talk on the phone with the attorney as well about a couple of things and sister and I went to the Mexican restaurant downtown. Not quite what we’d planned for Valentine’s Day and it wasn’t crowded. I think most people celebrated over the weekend. I’d forgotten how large their portions were and w probably should have shared an entree. Chicken makes for good leftovers.

Strong emotional content continues. Took my sister to see our aunt that lives a couple of hours south. My usual route of course is to swing through Natchitoches, see two sets of friends, then head over for the afternoon, spend the night and depart after breakfast the next day. Only one cousin was available and we only had about four hours to spend, so popped out to pick up catfish, shrimp, and hushpuppies after talking for a while.

As predicted, the temperature dropped significantly and it rained most of the way back. Not a hard rain though which made it manageable. Other step-brother and his wife were at the ALF along with the first step-sister. Daddy was in his chair asleep and had been for a few hours. In the midst of all this, there was yet another loss only a few weeks ago as my other step-sister passed away unexpectedly. Her husband came in later and of all the people involved in what is going on, he’s the one we are most concerned about. He is very close to Daddy and my step-sister had been through her medical issues with grit and determination. He’s been with her throughout and no one suspected the recent downturn would be different. For him to not barely get beyond the preliminary things after the death of a spouse and have this added in is so difficult. Daddy roused for a bit although with no prolonged interaction. My sister suggested our step-sister’s widower come to dinner with us and I’m glad she did. He is a genuinely good guy and we were able to talk some. Like with my other friend, I assured him I was available to talk in the early hours of the morning if the time comes when he feels that pang of loss so intently that he just needs to reach out.

When I wrote the last post, I had no idea of the email I would receive two days later. Although things seem to have stabilized today, earlier in the week, my father took a turn that alarmed the hospice nurse. My stepsister and her husband that don’t live close by contacted us and launched out to be with him. My sister flew in yesterday and I scrambled around to come in today. Our brother is in driving distance and he was “on hold” until we could find out what the story was. He’s a 6-7 hour drive away.

Before I continue, a word about hospice. In this case, as is common, my father has been “under hospice” for a while as a “preparation”. That means there was nothing specifically terminal, but when an event does manifest, no measures will be taken beyond pain control. That also means, however, no invasive tests, and it seems as if this time, his condition was less severe than thought a few days ago. We’re cautiously optimistic, but my sister and I are taking steps to lock certain details into place since we are here. We went by a florist this afternoon and opened a file with her. Monday we meet with the funeral home where our father has a pre-paid plan since none of us know exactly what all is involved. That, by the way, is something he and my stepmother too care of several years before she passed and I included it in my book, Your Room at the End: Thoughts About Aging We’d Rather Avoid.

My sister and I will go tomorrow to visit with the branch of the family that’s a couple hours south; the ones I always see on my regular trip. My sister hasn’t seen them for a few years and we can let everyone know what’s going on.