Category Archives: Thoughts on Relationships

Happily Ever Afters……

Posted on by
Reply

The weekend was extra busy as friends were married Saturday and had a few other events leading up to the wedding. It was a bit unique in taking place on the dive boat as all the attendees were either family or members of the diving community – in some cases, both. The couple have been together for quite some time and like many do, had reasons for waiting to make the decision about getting married.

Not surprisingly, different stories about meetings and marriages came out during conversations. There were plenty of people present whose first marriage didn’t work out and the week before, other friends of ours were talking about how they were high school sweethearts and that was a long time ago. In my novels and especially short stories, I have a mix of falling in love, finding love in unexpected places, coping with divorce, realizing it was time to leave a relationship – all those “highs and lows” that are part of real life.

I’ve posted before about my belief in love at first sight and the opposite side of coming to terms that not everyone finds the kind of love that results in marriage or other long term commitment. As for “happily ever after”, that can also mean different things to different people. Marriage does require the ability to deal with “for better or worse”, in “sickness and in health”, because life can be difficult to the point of almost unbearable at times. Our thirty-sixth anniversary was last month and in case I haven’t said it lately in a post, I am married to one of the most wonderful men in the world. On the other hand, I’ll be having lunch later today with two friends; one of whom divorced decades ago and decided “once was enough for her”.

So, what does the future hold for the newly wed couple? Who knows, but they do seem to have a good start.

Catching Up, Sort Of……

Posted on by
Reply

The trip to Louisiana was somewhat whirlwind and did involve a fair amount of driving. It was good to see people though. I think I posted before about how I reconnected with the three high school friends, but that’s been a while if I did. Most people who read this blog realize there was a time with no email, no cell phones and no social media. You wrote letters and called long distance at an extra price. When I left Natchitoches almost immediately after college graduation, it was to go to initial training in Alabama, on to the next level training in Maryland, then on to my first assignment in Germany. The time I had in between meant bouncing from parents to grandparents, once again driving different distances to do so. One of my three high school friends stayed in Natchitoches, but my parents had moved up to Minden while I was a senior in college. The second friend was already in  Shreveport as she moved up there in our junior year for the other part of the nursing program. The third friend left to go somewhere in Texas I think it was. Since I was never assigned back in Louisiana, it was easy to lose track of people.

Anyway, they decided to hold a combined junior and senior class twenty-year reunion one summer. One of my friends called Daddy to find out how to get in touch with me. That was sweet, but where the coincidence comes in – or not depending on your view – we were being reassigned to Germany that summer. We shipped one automobile out of Baltimore as we were assigned in Maryland. We went up to Maine to visit family, then drove to Louisiana to visit other family with the intent of shipping the second vehicle out of New Orleans. In almost the exact time, the reunion was not only planned for that weekend, it was to be held at a hotel we literally had to pass on the way to New Orleans. The only adjustment I had to make in order to attend the reunion was stay one less night visiting some of the relatives. We did go, reunite with my three friends, and kept in touch at least each Christmas. Email and social media has of course made it easier once we had such things.

Louisiana Trip, Day 5……

Posted on by
Reply

Yesterday was the quick go back by my aunt’s with a promise next year’s visit will be less rushed. At least that’s the plan. We headed up to Minden and this is a somewhat “divergent” part. If you are not familiar with the HGTV show, “Home Town”, it’s another husband and wife renovation show set in Laurel, MS. They are a delightful couple and in addition to restoring homes, the husband has an amazing wood shop/work shop where he almost always creates something extra special for each home. Anyway, a few years ago, they got the idea and the network agreed to a “Home Town Takeover” where they select a small town trying to revive itself and can’t quite make it. There are certain criteria and the first time they did this, they selected Wetumpka, Alabama which wasn’t very far from Laurel. The format is they spend four months and do four projects; two businesses, one public place, and one home for someone known for strong community giving. The concept was such a success, they expanded it and decided to bring in extra teams and do four towns in different parts of the country. I was surprised to hear Minden was one of the towns. They faced severe economic set-back when the real estate bubble burst and have struggled to regain their footing. Anyway, one of the businesses selected was a breakfast and lunch cafe, “Geaux Fresh”, run by two women. I didn’t realize my sister had actually been there, but she didn’t know anything about the transformation. We went for lunch and a) it looked as cute as it did on TV; b) the menu was terrific; c) the food was excellent; and d) there were a lot of people there. The only drawback for me is they don’t serve beer and wine, however, I wasn’t going to be drinking anyway.

They have a huge selection of sandwiches, burgers, salads, and several pastries. Sis had a lovely chicken salad and I had the Black Bayou burger that included sliced jalapenos, bacon, jalapeno jam, and pepper jack cheese on jalapeno bread. Yes, it was spicy and messy.

It was a beautiful afternoon to go to the cemetery although warm and the VA marker had been installed on Daddy’s grave. It doesn’t match Mother’s as his is granite and hers is brass, but it looks nice and more importantly, everything on it was correct.

An Easy Menu…..

Posted on by
Reply

Mother’s Day was pleasant with only a little work involved. Hubby had the weekend off for a change which doesn’t happen often and as I mentioned, we don’t go out for the classic brunch or lunch on those holidays. We do a nice dinner at home. For reasons I’m not clear about, I was wanting lobster even though it isn’t our season yet. The Canadian lobster tails the Publix carries are okay for some things, but not for what I had in mind. Hubby suggested I go by Sprouts and they did have a frozen brand I wasn’t familiar with. It’s Luke’s of Saco, Maine and the tails are already split with a chunk of season butter included. My plan was to have shrimp Everglades napoleons as the first course, then lobster with tomatoes Provencale and whatever other side Hubby wanted. Salad of course and dessert that I would buy, not make.

The only thing I couldn’t find was the phyllo dough in small squares; all they had were the big sheets and I wasn’t going to battle with that. I did find an Italian crisp bread that looked very much like sheets of phyllo that I thought would work. The Everglades sauce is the one I’ve posted before with shallots and capers done with infused olive oil, key lime juice, rum, and butter. Cooking the shallots slowly in olive oil is key, then add everything else. Let that cook for 2-3 minutes, then add the shrimp with a little more liquid if needed for 3-5 minutes. Place one piece of crisp on a plate, half the shrimp, another crisp, rest of the shrimp and pour the sauce on top. (Okay, this is my version; there are others).

Anyway, from a cooking perspective, the lobster was in a 400 degree oven for 7 minutes which also worked for the tomatoes and Hubby was having leftover broccoli-cheese rice. In other words, right after I plated the first course, everything went into the oven and the re-heating the rice was quick in the microwave. Oh, champagne to drink naturally.

I had picked up a small chocolate cake, small lemon cake and two chocolate covered strawberries at Publix for dessert. It was all lovely and Hubby has dessert for the rest of the week.

Monday Will be Eight……

Posted on by
Reply

Birthdays on Mondays are awkward and the kids only get Sundays off in a regular week. Granddaughter will be eight on Monday and not surprisingly the celebration will be on Sunday, the 12th. I’m not sure what they’re doing as last year she chose to take a few friends to a park that features climbing type activities. Not rock wall climbing, more like netting and ropes.

There will also no doubt be posts of “how have eight years gone by?”, the inevitable question as children enter new phases. The other day I heard a new song on the radio although I didn’t catch the name. It’s the same theme as the one several years ago, “Don’t Blink’, where the old man being interviewed on his 100th birthday gave that advise to express how quickly we move through life events. Like many of us when we’re kids, it is the, “I can’t wait until I’m old enough to…….” – whatever it may be. I have had those times in my life that do seem to drag on and there are most assuredly people in particular situations who need to “get through to be in a better place”. As one of the aging Babyboomers and with several friends now in their late seventies/early eighties, there is the tendency to look back at an event and be surprised to realize the number of years that passed since then. I have half-a-dozen standard topics I do talks for and one is “Refining Your Bucket List”. A point that I make is there are some items you might need to factor in age as a “resource”. The example I use is you always wanted to go white water rafting in the Grand Canyon and learn to grow orchids. For most people, learning about orchids in their eighties will be more practical than white water rafting at that point. Yes, I know there are a lot of very active seniors, but I am talking about the average person.

 

Anniversary Time….

Posted on by
Reply

Thirty-four years; we chose a long weekend because back then, it could work well for the attendees and it so happened to be Veterans Day weekend. We did do the military wedding with the arch of swords as we exited the church and it was a beautiful afternoon. A slight chill, but lovely sunshine. Over the years we’ve had some memorable anniversary celebrations, but an ironic situation was in 1990. Saddam Hussein had invaded Kuwait in August and the initial response was the forward forces who went to Saudi Arabia to hold the line in Desert Shield as then Top Secret plans were being drawn up for Desert Storm part. We were in Germany with 2d Corps Support Command (2d COSCOM) with VII Corps set to add to their forces and deploy at a time yet to be determined. Hubby and his boss had been chosen by our one-star general to be the Forward Liaison for 2d COSCOM although we didn’t know the exact day they would leave. We were all working extra hours of course in different preparations and on the Saturday evening before our anniversary we decided to go out to dinner just in case. This was also in the days before cell phones. Our wonderful live-in sitter was at home with son as we walked up the street to go to the restaurant. The call for Hubby to be ready to depart Monday morning came as we were in fact close enough for us to walk back to the house, but the sitter said she would take the message instead. She wanted us to have that evening to ourselves.

Okay,  in a coincidence of timing, this year the Rum Renaissance Festival is our anniversary weekend (https://www.rumrenaissance.com/). We have a lot going on and decided not to try and do anything else big, but did have a lovely meal last night. I had the butcher at Publix cut us some filets and I have a great au poivre sauce recipe. There was some lovely asparagus as well and we did have a glass of champagne for “chef time”, then a nice Zinfendal with the steaks. The reason we had only one glass of champagne is because we had another one a few minutes ago when we did brunch. The Rum Festival is this afternoon.

Georgia Trip Finishing Up…..

Posted on by
Reply

The last part of the visit was the gathering at Hubby’s cousin’s and by the final count there were 18 of us; three generations worth. The third–generation kids enjoyed the pool of course and second generation heard some new and some old stories. Each of them are well established now with careers; a mix of families and “living single and loving it”. We hope perhaps in the fall to make a big loop and go up to Huntsville to see the dear friends who weren’t able to make the reunion, then swing back down for another Georgia visit. We’ll see if that happens.

The trip back was as smooth as could be with only a couple of short showers, no major accidents or construction delays. Even the anticipated slowdown with hitting Miami around 5:00 wasn’t as bad as it could have been. It was basically 11 hours that included necessary stops. We keep those as brief as possible and I have made notes in my phone of the best Turnpike/I-75 exits. “Best” in this case means easy access to a fast food place and gas station, Brand loyalty takes second priority to access, so Wendy’s won out this trip.

It’s a full week ahead and of course I worked some while we were gone, but that’s always the case when I travel.

Talk About Long Friendships…..

Posted on by
Reply

BFF may be a fairly recent term, but many Babyboomers have at least one friendship they can date back to decades. It may have started in elementary/middle/high school or like one friend of mine when we met at Fort McClellan going through WAC (Woman’s Army Corps) training. In some places, it can go back to simply being raised as neighbors.

A couple of weeks ago, a woman contacted the paper and said her mother and another woman have been friends for a long time and both are coming up on their 100th birthdays. Oh yes, that’s the kind of community story we always love to share.

The editor was hoping we could get both women together, but that was going to be difficult so Hubby and I arranged to go see the mother and daughter that called and then go over about fifteen minutes away to see the other mom and daughter. Both women were in remarkably good shape and the first one had her pack of cigarettes on the table. Interestingly both originally came from Ohio, and met their respective husbands in college. The friendship began in 1954 and is going strong. They don’t see each other as much today with it being more difficult to get around. Over the years, they both lost their husbands and each a son. There are, however, the surviving children and lots of grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

The second woman lives on what is basically a “family complex” of 40 acres and when they have their Sunday dinners, 20-25 are usually involved. As we were leaving there, her daughter confided her mother insisted on putting her pack of cigarettes out of sight for the interview; that coffee and cigarettes were still her daily habit.

This is a really long link and I’ve given the important points, but the photos are nice. You probably have to cut and paste since I don’t know if a link shows up when I publish the post: http://www.southdadenewsleader.com/news/best-friends-celebrate-100-together/article_b8f3eaac-b6c1-11ec-b309-c3f81eddbdea.html

 

 

Repeat Louisiana Trip, Day 5…..

Posted on by
Reply

Didn’t get the catfish after all; just one of those things. Had a mix-up in some paperwork and had to go back by the lawyer’s office which then threw me off in timing and knew the place would be packed. Estate issue will be more complicated than I hoped, but it can’t be helped. Also different than what I dealt with in Maine with that one; each state has their own way of doing things.

On the up side, the weather did warm up nicely during the day and it was all sunshine. Did meet my girlfriend for dinner; Two Johns is still a nice tradition for us. She lost her mother last year, so discussed those things. She is also retired now; well back working a few days. Her second grandchild – little boy this time – is 8 months old; cute video of his 3 year old sister with him. I explained I still plan to make an annual trip to be able to see ,my aunt, cousins, and old friends. I might swap from the fall though as there have been  times when football games have caused disconnects with getting together.

Anyway, I couldn’t sleep so came on to the airport and of course the coffee guy isn’t even open yet. I have hopes by 5:30 though. Unlike MIA there are vending machines which means Coke Zero is a caffeine option if necessary. Okay, enough for now and am hoping no delays in flights.

Repeat Louisiana Trip Day 3……

Posted on by
Reply

Emotional content alert. Yesterday was the visitation and funeral. Although we did not know most of the church and Gideon people, two individuals who had been neighbors came to pay their respects. One non-family individual was special to my sister and I as we all went to school together a very long time ago when we lived in the small town of Sibley, just a few miles south of Minden. The most touching was our cousin who drove down from Tennessee and was starting back after the funeral. He’s the youngest of the five children of my aunt. None of them knew he was coming either and my aunt was of course happy to see him even for a short while. In some ways, this was difficult for her too, as there are only two of the siblings/spouses still with us; her and my mother’s older sister.

My sister did a great job with the eulogy and managed it without stopping to cry. I was unaware of one of the stories she told – well, two. Daddy and his three brothers had the distinction of being the first group of siblings to all complete high school in the rural area they grew up in. Part of that was the local school only went to 8th grade. In order to go to high school, that was the next town over. Commuting with only usually one truck per family – which would have been needed  at home – was not really an option. For Daddy and my uncles, living and working at the boarding house was the way.

The weather had cleared as predicted with temperature in the low 50s; the wind sharp. The graveside part was fairly brief. We said good-by to the relatives. The step-siblings and families were exhausted from the weeks leading up to the day. We decided on not gathering for dinner so it was my sister and I to have that final time at the Mexican restaurant.