Emotional content alert. If you have followed the posts with me all these years, or even fairly recently, you know I do cross into occasional emotional areas either through musing or making a specific point. Several individuals on Facebook have recently experienced the passing of loved ones. It is difficult and even though we all understand we will lose our parents or another older relative/friend someday, the time and quite frankly the manner of, is painful. In some cases, it is somewhat sudden, in others the pain is worsened with lingering and debilitating illness.

We are coming up on the first anniversary of our father’s passing and in some ways, his decline was the “best” you can hope for. The unexpected part was the passing of my stepmother before him as statistically speaking most men don’t lose two wives. (My mother had always had health issues and actually passed away a few days before her 61st). However, the point with my father was even though he did have short-term memory problems, he had come to manage those and he never reached the stage to where he didn’t know who people were; he might call someone by a wrong name, but he knew them in context. After a mild stroke, he recovered quickly and did opt to use a wheelchair rather than try to go back to a cane or walker because he could get around easily in the chair, in and out of bed, etc., and he considered it to be more stable. The assisted living facility he was in was nothing fancy but well organized and staffed. He never had any kind of condition that caused him continuing pain and when I was back for his 95th birthday, my brother later used the term of “winding down”. The same was true for his 96th and not long after that, he was placed under hospice. This was a case of nothing specific; rather an administrative action to ease things for when the day came.

His 97th birthday did go as well as could be expected and he hung for about an hour in the gathering. It was a few months later when the call came that we thought was “it”. I relayed that in my blog posts then about how after rushing to get to Louisiana, he had rallied. He was seemingly unaware of why everyone had come in for a “surprise visit”. That did give us a chance to make/refine certain arrangements.The private time I had with him was mostly watching him sleep in his recliner, but that is normal in these situations. My stepsister and husband who lived in Texas were working remotely at the time. They stayed and the other “steps” lived in town or close by. The end came quietly a couple of weeks later. So for those going through grieving now, it does get better with time.

I saw somewhere this is the 80th anniversary year of “Casablanca”. Aside from always loving the movie, it was the first one Hubby and I watched together at his place. The actual first movie we saw together was the comedy “Outrageous Fortune” when we had our first official date. Anyway, back to Casablanca. In reading the background, they apparently had no idea it would be as big a hit as it was and certainly wouldn’t have anticipated it would endure for decades. From my perspective, it had the most memorable “one-liners” until “Big Chill” came out. And the terms of, “Of all of the gin joints in all of the world,”; “Here’s looking at you Kid,”; “We’ll always have Paris,”; :”Shocked, shocked, I’m shocked to find gambling going on,”; and “Louie, this may be the start of a beautiful friendship,” have been used so many times in so many ways. I doubt anyone even knows how many times the song has been played. I can’t imagine ever watching it without tearing up at the final scene between Rick and Elsa.

It is a such an interwoven story of love, drama, world events, good versus evil, personal sacrifice, and redemption. Not being in the world of film, I can’t speak to all the aspects that is studied from that perspective. As much as I enjoyed Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, etc., in other movies, if forced to choose, it would have to be Casablanca as my favorite. I don’t know if young people watch it these days, but I hope so. I’ll have to ask the kids when they come for their holiday visit which is now less than a month away.

It does involve a 14-pound turkey though. This is one of the first Thanksgivings in a while Hubby hasn’t been asked to work most of it and the friend who usually does Thanksgiving dinner for our “group” wasn’t going to be able to. Additionally, our “group” has shrunk with the recent relocation of one who usually also had his daughter and sometimes son-in-law along. We offered to do the holiday meal and Hubby was concerned about getting a turkey. We still weren’t entirely sure of how many were coming to lunch the day I went  to the store and I thought it best to go a bit larger rather than smaller. This is why we have a 14-pound turkey. Hubby has decided on using dry brine (I think it’s easier to deal with although I don’t intervene in such decisions) and to fry. I’ve explained the frying process before and it is a kind of cool part of the holiday plus makes for an excellent turkey. I’m not doing anywhere near the variety of dishes of some and am sticking with the classics of stuffing – well, it’s more like dressing since you can’t stuff a fried turkey – a small ham, mashed potato casserole, green bean casserole, rolls, gravy, and cranberry sauce. Neither of us are pumpkin fans so dessert is apple pie and a friend is bringing a lovely cheesecake with lemon curd. Another couple we’re friends with are going to drop by for dessert if she doesn’t get overwhelmed in preparing their evening holiday meal. Even though the group will be small, I will send two meals worth home with the friend who is bringing the cheesecake and cranberry sauce, send two meals worth of leftovers with the other friend and take one meal’s worth to another friend on Sunday. That does equate to eight meals, the only difference being three of them won’t include anyone going for seconds.

And as of this morning, the weather is to be sunny and up to 84 so we will be having lunch on the covered terrace,

Well, this is TV, not movies. We have been a fan of “Blue Bloods” from the beginning and it seems as if the last three seasons, there has been continued talk of the show ending. It is in the 11th or 12th season which is a fairly long time. The casting is superb, the writing excellent, and it deals with current topics in a conservative manner yet with acknowledgement of complexities of many current issues.

If somehow you aren’t familiar with the show, it is set in NYC where the Reagan family is synonymous with law enforcement. The main character of Frank (Tom Selleck) is Police Commissioner (widowed) and his widowed father who lives with him was Police Commissioner prior to him. The oldest son who was a detective was murdered by “bent cops”, middle son is detective, youngest son is a Sergeant, and only daughter is the Assistant District Attorney. There are often situations where the cop part of the family runs headlong against legal reality when it comes to investigations and prosecutions. The daughter was unfairly passed over to be appointed as the DA when an unexpected vacancy occurred and in the new season she has made the decision to run for election. There is of course the argument that having her as the DA would mean being a “rubber stamp” for her family. We are wondering if the idea is for a spin-off show to be created to have her father retire and someone other than a Reagan be Commissioner as she is elected to DA. That may not be the plan at all, but it will be interesting to see how things unfold.

Although the initial thought that brought us to Louisiana to be with our father was not correct, we are supposed to meet with the hospice nurse today or tomorrow to discuss the situation.  I will continue with related tasks as we try to sort through things. The plummeted temperature is coming around even though at the moment it is 30 degrees out. It’s supposed to get into high sixties, then lows getting better through the week.

Sunday is usually a busy “visitors day” and two different sets of extended family from the step-sibling side dropped in yesterday. The “little kids” from before now range from high school to college and all seem to be doing well. I went through multiple photo albums and of all the things, found one of my sister, brother, and me when we were what looks like maybe 8, 6, and 4. There was also a short album the kids sent Daddy with granddaughter in various stages from birth to about 16 months. Those are precious of course. I also found a couple of sister and her husband when they were in college. I’ll go through other things today to see what can be tossed for now. There isn’t much use in keeping items like the 2019 Medicare booklet.

My sister had managed to build up some leftovers and there aren’t too many dining options on Sunday around here so we cleared those out last night. We’ll probably do the “funkier” Mexican restaurant tonight if it’s open as she’s never been there.

Social comments alert. This is another post where the intent is not to stray into politics although it can be construed that way.

An interesting story came in to the paper and was passed to me. The article will run next week. The essence is a woman and her older brother lived in Homestead back in the 1980s under very difficult circumstances. Her mother had made some really poor decisions that caused her to be away from the kids for a while and when she took them back, it seems to have been only marginally better. The point is a man in Homestead “hired” the kids to help them out and they sold subscriptions to the local paper. That added income to their mother working at a low-paying job did enable them to at least have a place to live. The guy continued to do nice things to help out and was an inspiration to her brother who had no father figure. The girl actually was still in touch with her kindergarten teacher in MA who apparently also recognized the problems in the family and served as “a mentor”. The situation in Homestead didn’t last more than a few years as the mother married badly again, moved the family back to MA, and was then murdered by her husband. This time the 12-year-old daughter and her brother were split up to be raised by different family members. Not surprisingly, they each had coping issues and each decided to enter the service as soon as they could as a way out of their circumstances. The brother joined the Navy and the sister the Coast Guard.

The brother served one enlistment (might have been a little longer), got out and started his own small business in MA. The woman stayed in the Coast Guard for a career, and had multiple assignments in Florida as well as other places. She retired to FL with her family, but also spends time in MA helping her brother with certain aspects of his business. In the course of the years, they lost track of the man in Homestead who helped them and the woman hasn’t been able to find him through social media or standard searches. One of the aspects of the article is perhaps he or someone who knows him will reach out to re-unite them so they can assure him his long-ago kindness has not been forgotten.