Disconcerting Content Alert! I don’t know many people who are not understandably worried about Alzheimer’s as it applies to a relative or friend. There are a lot of books, many more articles, and numerous foundations and groups to consult about specifics of this insidious disease. One of the sad realities that I learned while writing Your Room at the End: Thoughts About Aging We’d Rather Avoid is that while Alzheimer’s is the most recognized form of dementia, it is far from being the only one. There is, in fact, something referred to as Partial Dementia and this is what a lot of us encounter with older relatives and friends. Before getting to that though in Part II, I want to address unsettling memory loss that also often occurs.
This primarily manifests itself in ways such as not being able to recall names even of people that the individual knows well. For example, suddenly forgetting the name of a grandchild or calling a grandchild by the parent’s name without realizing it. Another example is not being able to recall having completed a task even if it is something routine. By the way, this isn’t the same thing as leaving the house and wondering if you set the alarm. This is more like not being sure if you took your required medication that day. This type of memory loss is disturbing for both the individual and those around her or him, but in general, it can be coped with. Being honest about it is very important, however. Let’s use the medication piece as an example. Labeled medicine boxes are a great solution for this, but someone may need to assist in filling the box and quite probably have a note somewhere that says, “Medicine Box filled for the week. If unsure, call _______”. That will be the name and telephone number of whomever filled the box.
Perhaps the most important thing when facing memory loss in another individual is sympathy and patience. It is incredibly common for an individual to tell the same story or repeat the same question multiple times (and I mean multiple) as her or his brain is trying to lock in that the information has been passed. It can be frustrating for the listener, but it is frightening for the individual who feels the inability to remember. Once this type of memory loss sets in, it won’t normally improve and finding the means to work around it will be highly individualized. The key is to find a method that works for the person with the memory loss. In one case I am familiar with, a lady used a calendar and left a note on her bedside lamp, one taped to her bathroom mirror, and another taped next to the telephone. “Check calendar every day”, was pretty simple to follow. For example, garbage pick up was Thursday. So on Wednesday, she would write, “Get garbage ready for pick-up tomorrow”. For every appointment she had, she would write a reminder one-to-two days prior that she had the appointment. A couple of close friends who often drove her places as she cut back on driving knew about this technique and would wait patiently as she carefully filled out the calendar.
I recently used the analogy of: “Consider this type of memory loss to be like a dripping faucet. It’s annoying and you constantly lose water because of the drip. If you place a bowl under the faucet, it catches the water and you can at least recover that and use it to water plants or whatever. It’s isn’t an ideal solution, but it does work. Having memory aids that work (whatever those are) are the ‘bowl under the dripping faucet’.”
In Part II, I’ll discuss Partial Impairment, although that post won’t be until Wednesday.
