I had an interesting conversation yesterday after the last of several meetings when the coffee was swapped for wine. Of the four of us in the room, one woman coming up on their 47th anniversary had known the man she married for only three months, the youngest guy in the room met the love of his life when they were in high school (separate, rival highs schools), but they actually didn’t get married until seven or eight years later. The other guy waited until he was in his early 50s before he married for the first time, although he and his future wife also knew each other for six or seven years before they actually got married. In the case of my husband and me, we knew each other for almost two years before we married, even though we were officially engaged for six months of that time. In each case, there was the recognition that this was the “right one”.

Now, as I have written before, I do believe in love at first sight because I have personally known of some situations, but I also know that it is easier to fall in love than to stay in love. I have one friend in particular who has had an on-again, off-again relationship for well over ten years and they cannot seem to get past certain points between them. Will they ever? Hard to say. Are they “right” for each other? From the outside, looking in, I think so, but maybe there are too many things that I don’t know about their relationship.

Anyway, before I stray too far from the point, love can come in different forms – that instantaneous attraction that keeps growing, a friendship that develops into love, even initial disagreement that changes, and occasionally, as with one couple I know, there is a divorce and re-marriage. From my perspective, bring with “the right one” means it’s easy. I don’t mean that you never disagree or squabble, or may have an out-an-out fight every now and then. What I mean is that when you think of that person, there is a warmth that suffuses within you, and it’s like slipping on that favorite, worn pair of jeans/sweats/shorts/robe or whatever. It’s that feeling of comfort that surrounds you. And if you are in the midst of being lonely, wondering if “the right one” will ever come, what I will say it that I’ve certainly seen people on their second (or more) go-round in later years. Not that it can’t be painful being alone when you are surrounded by couples, but I do believe that “the right one” is worth waiting for. By the way, that doesn’t mean you can’t have plenty of fun before then. In fact, I included that line in Deadly Doubloons.