When Not Winning Isn’t Losing…..

Musing content alert. I was watching an episode of “Brokenwood Mysteries” the other day – I watch DVD while I’m on the exercise bike – and it was centered around the murder of the local rugby team coach. As always, there was more than one story line. A somewhat catalyst (although not the true motive) for the murder was the fact the team had lost fifty straight games. In teasing one of the players, his comment was, “Hey, us not winning doesn’t mean we’re losers.”

That sets up the duality of, “It’s isn’t whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game that counts,” as opposed to, “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”

Competitiveness runs the gamut from individuals who feel no reason to compete/are afraid to, to the far end of those who will do anything to win. The saying (more or less) of, “The first automobile race occurred ten minutes after the second automobile was produced,” speaks to the human nature to compete. It motivates and allows/encourages people to reach for a higher level in whatever. As with most things in life, balance and moderation are key. Team sports teach much to an individual; such as how to do your best and how you can often do more than you think. Training and practice can improve your performance (again in whatever). In many situations though there can only be one winner. That’s the valuable lesson of understanding that not winning is not the same as being a loser.

From another context, the idea of “participation trophies” and not keeping scores comes with the risk of not learning that valuable lesson. I firmly believe in participation acknowledgement and instilling in the “winners” the need to do so graciously.

Memorial Day Tomorrow…..

It will be an early showing tomorrow at the local cemetery for the annual ceremony to have speeches, talk about traditions of the flag, solemnly raise and lower it to half-mast, fire the gun salute, and play taps in memory of all who have died and been killed while in service to the country. Volunteers will then place small flags on the graves of veterans. Three and four generations will share in the experience; some with loved ones in this cemetery; others there to honor veterans they have never known. Hubby is sometimes available for this as the much better photographer than me, and that’s the case tomorrow. He will capture the photos in a beautiful way and I’ll write the story that changes little year to year. The continuity is part of the story with some of the individuals having done this for decades. A friend commented Friday she will not go to this, but rather be out later to privately acknowledge her brother who did not return from Vietnam. Similar events will take place all over the country and at military cemeteries overseas. One of the final tasks of settling our father’s estate was to arrange for the marker from the Veteran’s Administration acknowledging his service in the Navy during WW II. He didn’t see combat in the Pacific as he entered toward the end of the war after the famous major battles. He served on a ship however transporting hundreds of thousands of munitions which were thankfully no longer needed. Some were sent to bases to restock; others returned to supply depots; some were carried out to be demolished. I assume the small town where he lived will have a ceremony; there wasn’t time last year after his passing to get the paperwork through to have the marker sent for installation.

After the solemn events, there will of course be cookouts and gatherings; the holiday also traditionally marking the beginning of summer despite the official calendar day being next month. Even our cold neighbors to the north will have trees leafing and blossoms opening and hopefully pleasant weather.

 

Busy Weekends……

The next two weekends will be especially busy. Today is Military Appreciation Day with a four-hour event downtown. Hubby always covers it for the paper if he isn’t working because it’s another of the photo-heavy kind of things. I am at the museum since we often get extra visitors and we might have to be open a little later. There are military vehicles and other equipment on display; speeches to be done of course, music and I’m not sure what all activities for families. The potential rain seems to be holding off although it is over 90 degrees. Needless to say, we will not be cooking tonight. Our friends aren’t available to join us for dinner so the plan is carryout from Sonny’s BBQ.

The International Orchid Festival is going on in another place; an amazing event that brings growers from as far away as Thailand (if they are coming this year). The array is incredible and brings plenty of people in. Next weekend is no better as we have the Art in the Park that will be an evening/nighttime event for the first time. That is directly related to the heat and that also means I’ll have to cover the museum at least a few extra hours. There will be lots of activities and some new things they have planned so we’ll see what the reaction is to those. There are some recurring favorites and individual artists or groups can be quite creative when coming up with ideas. If I wasn’t going to be in the museum, I would be partly involved in an activity. If Hubby is available next week, he’ll get some “cute kids” photos as I already wrote an article a few weeks ago to encourage people to volunteers or participate in some other way. If we cover the story beforehand, a photo spread with enhanced captions as the follow-up.

About Keeping the Yard in Control…..

This is “travel” related only in the sense of understanding the environment of South Florida where, as I have mentioned before, plants can quickly grow out of control. We of course do not have seasons in the same way that mostly only evergreens and specific bushes and so forth thrive in winter. We do have seasonal blooming cycles for certain things, but our day-to-day profusion of blossoms and more variety of palms than you can keep track of, means constant attention must be paid to keep things under control. A couple of years ago, we had the woman who previously re-landscaped the back yard come out because several items we originally planted didn’t turn as we planned and we wanted to increase the butterfly/hummingbird attracting ones. I thought we might be able to keep up with everything this time, but once again, despite Hubby having to continuously remove palm fronds and cut back some of the blooming bushes, the back yard is tangled looking. We don’t need anything else planted per se; it’s more we have a few things in nice containers that seem to be root bound. One of them may simply be a matter of not watering enough. In another case, one I thought had given up seems to be recovered. There is also an out of control aloe vera in the front yard that Hubby and I disagree about. I think it looks like the “Little Shop of Horrors” situation and he likes it. I’m not even sure it can be safely removed if I get Hubby to agree we swap back to having it in a container instead of the soil. (I hadn’t realized that when you plant in the ground, they can get really big)

The woman we use has been in the landscape business for a long time and doesn’t hesitate to explain when she thinks we have made errors.

So Much for Catching Up….

We did have the Homestead Center for the Arts Art and Artisan Show Saturday an rain was not an issue. Heat and humidity were other matters as even for South Florida, it was higher than normal for this time of year. We had a great mix of vendors and while we would have liked more attendees, it was in a good range. We had some wonderful volunteers, too which made a big difference.

This week was supposed to allow me to catch up a bit as I had to focus a great deal on last week for prep and of course Saturday was consumed with the show. I did some work yesterday as well although not as much as I needed to. Then a few extra things have been thrown into the mix and there you have it. At this stage I’m keeping my fingers crossed for no more curve balls. In all fairness, the extra tasks are better than having some kind of medical emergency, so there is that to be grateful for. Hubby has had a couple of days and was able to get the grocery store taken care of which is always a help. He’s back at work tomorrow through the end of the week and we are going to try and keep the weekend clear. I’m not sure we’ll manage, but there is a good chance. May is Military Appreciation Month which comes with several annual events we’ll have to cover for the paper and Hubby is involved in one on the 20th. I may get pulled into it, too; that remains to be seen.

Anyway, here’s hoping someone out there has an uncomplicated, relatively calm week ahead.

 

 

 

That Conversation About “The Trades”…..

It has been a while since I posted about this topic. Last evening, I attended a Scholarship Awards dinner and sat with a young lady and her mother. The student will be attending Florida State to major in Computer Science and is the first to leave home. The mom has some concern of course although that’s not the point of this post. The mom is proud of her and mentioned she only did one year of college as she became pregnant and was then able to get a good job while she raised son and daughter. That led to commenting her son isn’t looking to go to college, and prefers to work with his hands. I explained I was a big proponent of the trades rather than, “everyone should go to college”. This has been my position for years, strengthened by the inexcusable cost of college and the proliferation of degrees that aren’t remotely marketable. Now again, college graduates (especially anyone in liberal arts) often don’t go to work in their field of study, but apply the skills learned in other areas. The idea that someone who majors in something like Women’s Studies should also be able to find a high-paying job in that field is where things generally go awry.

Getting back to the point of the trades though. There is a shortage throughout the country of electricians, etc.,., and while Vocational Tech (VoTech) fell out of favor in many high schools, that seems to be changing. Major IT companies have long partnered with schools to provide the option to take courses in high school that can result in graduating with a technical certification of some type in addition to their diploma. That can lead to an entry level job that pays well and allows for upward mobility. In other cases, more training is required, but technical colleges usually have certifications that require only one or two years to a career. Costs are significantly less and again, job placement assistance is often included. Starting in a trade doesn’t mean being “stuck”; it can also mean that in the process of working as an electrician or whatever, the individual may well decide they do want to go on to college, or into business for themselves one day. No, not everyone is suited for a trade, but it should be encouraged for those who are.

And The Week Is Gone….

Well, not the whole week exactly; more like one week ago today, this was our last day at Disney. It’s been a whirl and the weekend is not as busy as some although I do have an 8:15 meeting in the morning. I am still in catch-up mode and am making progress. Monday and Tuesday will be tough; no way to know about the rest of the week yet.

Daughter-in-law did get an album done of Disney activities and those are the memories that will pop up periodically when Facebook does reminders. In fact, one showed on my feed today about nine years ago was when we did the remodel of the front rooms to include gutting the kitchen. That was quite the time for those who weren’t following the blog back then. Living through a remodel does take planning and accepting things as they come. The primary contractor and his team were great; the subs were good, and not too many things went wrong. The usual two-week delay occurred and I only “lost it” maybe once and that was in private. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart as the saying goes.

On an entirely different subject, I genuinely hope I can find a day to dive as I missed Feb and March. It is going to be difficult as we are in the closing two weeks before a major event we’re putting together; our third Art and Artisan Show for Homestead Center for the Arts. It is in a new location this year which comes with more complexity, but also greater visibility which should mean higher attendance. There’s only one way to find out as we continue to seek to make this a signature annual event. While we still need some more volunteers, the people who are stepping forward are doing great.

Getting Caught Up….

The drive back from Disney went as well as possible and for once the kids’ flight was not delayed. I have only been through the Orlando airport briefly and not paid much attention as I have never flown out of it. Apparently, in light of all the family travel, Disney also provided significant funds to help make the airport an interesting place. Daughter-in-law made this comment as I expressed mild concern they would have to be at the airport for a few hours because my option to fly them home meant mid-afternoon or early morning. Anyway, son sent a short video and some pictures of a large wall with what appeared to be an interactive activity with music and marine creatures where you can be “underwater” with them. Not sure what else was there, but granddaughter was definitely having a good time.

It will be a busy week of course as in addition to all the normal tasks, there were some I put off while we were gone. Then a friend I hadn’t seen for months called. I needed to take him something so we met for lunch yesterday. He did provide me with some interesting information that might be useful in another project he didn’t know I was involved with; we’ll see if it does “bear fruit”. Hubby actually has a few days off from teaching which will allow him to work off his considerable to-do list. Of course, it only takes one phone call/text from the dive shop to change that.  It would also be nice if I could squeeze in one morning/afternoon for diving as I didn’t get to go in February or March. We’ll see about that, too.

A Powerhouse of Women…..

There have been extra events this year for Women’s History Month and today was the annual Ladies of Legacy Luncheon with the Chamber of Commerce. The format is the same; five or six women across the spectrum of business, politics, and non-profit on a panel with a moderator. We were fortunate this year to have Holly Raschein serve as Moderator again. She is that rare individual who as a business owner, wife, and mom entered politics with the true ability to put principle above party. I won’t say more except she is what a politician should be. Anyway, today’s lineup was impressive as always.

The five women held high level positions in County government, the medical field, corporations, and a civilian who works with family support in the military organization, Special Operations Command, South. None came from privileged families and some had overcome very austere upbringings. The seven questions this year will be familiar to anyone who has prevailed in a career that required hard work and often times balancing family and career. How to develop as a leader, making your way in a  non-traditional field, etc.,. One especially intriguing one was, “If you could go back to your thirteen-year-old-self, what would you tell you?” In remembering those years, most recognized that the uncertainties at that age fluctuated between doubts and lofty ambitions. The theme though was, “Don’t be so hard on yourself; understand things will work out even if they don’t go the way you expect.” A few individuals had their daughters with them and they were probably inspired to at least some degree.

This was one of those occasions when I was “triple-hatted”. I am a member of the Chamber of Commerce that puts the event on; I was covering the article for the paper, and I was promoting the upcoming Art and Artisan Show for Homestead Center for the Arts. Oh yes, and of course I did hand out a few bookmarks to showcase my writing. That’s an “always thing” if appropriate no matter what the setting.

 

 

Better To Ask Forgiveness…..

A recent conversation brought this to mind. The saying of, “Better to ask forgiveness than permission”, is another of the things people frequently use incorrectly. Generally, they say this somewhat cavalierly because they leap to the conclusion forgiveness will automatically be given. In the real world, that is most assuredly not the case.

The first time I heard this expression was as a young second lieutenant in the Army. The desire to cut through bureaucratic layers/red tape is the usual reason this approach is taken. A few years after when I was a senior first lieutenant/soon to be captain, a boss elaborated on the concept. He was not an easy guy to work for, but this was one of those pieces of advice I took to heart and have passed on to subordinates. He said that if I choose to disregard a regulation or a policy – of which there are many – to remember this: a) There are legal aspects that underlay many regulations. Learn the difference and never break a law; b) Take time to learn the regulation/policy or listen to someone who does know it – there are usually “experts” in these things; c) Have a  logical reason for disregard and have a persuasive argument if called to task; d) Understand there may be adverse consequences to the choice and accept responsibility if it turns out that way

In my career, I never knowingly broke a law although I admit there may have have been some early on I wasn’t aware of. There were times I did the deliberate disregard after being advised to follow the regulation/policy and it worked out just fine – maybe a butt-chewing, but forgiveness. There were  a few notable times of adverse consequences and I have the figurative scars as a reminder. The advice works just as well in the civilian world as in the military.