It’s been a while since I posted about this and I was in a conversation the other day with a friend when the topic came up. I do enjoy the holidays (especially after the cleaning lady has been here to help prep) and try to keep them from being too hectic. My success rate for that one is up for debate, but we always manage to get through them fairly intact.
The sad fact though is holidays can be extremely difficult emotionally for people who have suffered the loss of a loved one, economic set-backs, a relationship that has come apart, family estrangement, and numerous other problems. In most cases, reaching out to the individual is absolutely the right thing to do. Your offer might be declined and that’s when it can get a little tricky. The initial “no” could be for several reasons. The temptation is often to try to urge with the, “You really don’t want to be alone, do you?”; or “Come on, it will be good for you.” Notwithstanding good intentions, it’s hard to know when to press and when to back away. What I tend to do is say something like, “I understand and we’d love to have you, so consider it an open invitation if you change your mind.”
It has been a long time since I’ve spent a holiday alone and back in the day it was a mixed bag of when I really was okay with being alone and when I appreciated being included in others’ celebration. In any case, I hope all of you have a Happy Thanksgiving in whatever form that takes.